Journal Writing Is A Voyage To The Interior

 The bottom 3 journals are the last 16 years of my life. Its interesting to see how 16 years could be crammed into 3 books that I tuck away in my nightstand. The top smaller one is my new journal. I still get super excited about looking for a new journal and imagining what the pages will be filled with. I have been journal writing since I was 12, unfortunately many of those journals got lost through the years and my constant state of moving around didnt help either. I still look back and read pages from my past and it instantly takes me back to that time. Even when I didnt write down where I was in the house when I was writing that page, the lines I read take me back to that time and I remember it all. I notice when I read through my writing how much Ive changed, how much Ive grown and what life was like and where I thought it would be today. Along with journals I have written letters to my unborn child(ren) because I always had a feeling that my child would think the age gap between us would make him or her think I dont understand. So, when things happened in my life that had really impacted me I grabbed my pen and paper and started writing. I started that when I was 19. I only have 3..first time a boyfriend proposed, when my father passed and a really bad break up that I had... Its time for another letter. These days in my life lately are very impacting. Im reflecting (as I always do) and seeing everything before me. Life is beyond interesting right now. I feel a force I have never felt before. Fear, Excitement, Strength, the Green Light, Future, Reflection, Energy, Change, Power, Enlightenment......REALITY. NOW.

The greatest and most fulfilling emotion is to know you are good with who you are. Knowing who you are and seeing the different stages of yourself. When you are comfortable with being alone and not having the need to always be around many people it sets a calm inside you that feels so damn good. Call me crazy but I truly love spending time with by myself. Dont get me wrong, being with my friends is always a pleasure. Im usually in other peoples company with my work, naturally. However there is something so perfect to me about grabbing my keys, getting in my car and just going for a drive or heading to an antique shop and spending as much time as I want and not talking to anyone but just being with myself, my thoughts, my interests and my way. I also love creating new things around my house. I love crafts and using my hands, panting, sewing,building, sculpting. Im comfortable in my skin and I feel that has a lot to do with how Ive lived my life. Observing, documenting, and reflecting. This journey of mine has so far been amazing, yes, I do amaze funky as that sounds.Im super excited to fill the pages of my new journal. I bought a smaller one because I feel I will be carrying it around in my purse a lot this year...

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

1 comment: